Nobody told me yoga could be habit-forming. Then again, nobody told me anything about yoga at all. I discovered it in the wee small hours of the morning, when I was flipping through TV channels trying to put off the inevitable chore of going to bed.
Insomnia had crept up on me so slowly I didn’t immediately recognize it. Soon, I was tossing and turning for a good three hours before falling into a light sleep that never seemed to last. When I saw that yoga program on TV, I knew instinctively that it would be my salvation. Every night after that, I tuned in, went through the entire routine with the pretty instructor, and then went to bed.
Finally, I could sleep again! Yoga was better than any drug.
There was only one problem: the yoga program was only on TV six days of the week. On Sundays, it was replaced with some GED training show, which I’m sure was very helpful to some people, but it didn’t manage to put me to sleep. I still hadn’t learned enough poses to make up my own routines, so Saturday night into Sunday morning I’d lie awake waiting for sleep to take over. After six days of perfect rest, a night of tossing and turning just wouldn’t do.
There was only one other way I knew to expend energy. It wasn’t something I did all the time, but that seventh day, the day without yoga, called for drastic measures.
I went to my drawer of naughty treasures and pulled out all three of my vibrators—mama, papa, and baby. I grabbed the lube as well, because I knew I’d be needing that miracle elixir. Wearing my skimpy silky nightie, I grabbed a towel and laid it over the bed. I’d just changed my sheets, and I knew this could get messy.
Kneeling over the towel, I hiked up my shorty nightie, but the texture was so satiny and slick that it slipped right back down. I pulled it up again and trapped the hem between my chin and chest, which forced me to gaze down at my pubic hair. It seemed darker and thicker, more unruly than it had been even the day before. I stared at it, trying to catch sight of my clit in the moonlight, but no trace of pink, not from that angle. As I turned on mama vibe, all I could see was the dark hair curled across my slit.
Maybe it sounds weirdly incestuous to refer to sex toys as mama, papa, and baby. It would be better if I categorized them by colour, or texture, or size. The baby vibe was obviously the smallest. It was a cheapie made of slick purple plastic, super-reliable and perfect for ass play. In fact, that’s all I used that one for.
Papa was my big daddy vibe: generous girth, low and slow vibrations, a gripping black monster just perfect for my pussy. But the one I got the most use out of was the mama, the medium-sized toy, not too hard, not too soft, sturdy, but with just enough give. That one was light blue and ribbed, so when I stroked my clit those vein-like bumps gave me even more sensation. Not that I needed it with the blue vibe—it was the most powerful thing I owned, like a motorcycle with a supple sheathe.
Squirting my hot pussy with cool lube, I pressed my powerful blue vibe to my clit. The vibration was so extreme I arched back, curving my spine until my tits were sticking straight up and my head nearly touched my toes. I guess that yoga was really paying off. I’d never been so flexible.
I turned down the juice on my vibe, turned it way down, and started again. My nightie had fallen against my belly, and I couldn’t see my pussy at all anymore, but that wasn’t the end of the world. I stroked my clit, letting the ribs tease my wet little bud, building my arousal slowly after that immediate jolt I’d just given myself. It felt good to climb that mountain to orgasm. I didn’t mind taking my time.
As I rubbed my go-to vibe against my aching clit, my pussy gaped jealously. It was time for the big daddy dildo, the black monster, and my cunt was already so sopping wet I didn’t even have to reach for the lube. Kneeling up a little higher off the bed, I slipped the black cock beneath my body and lowered myself until the fat tip sat against my slit. I inched the vibrations up a tiny bit higher on the blue vibe, then sank down, letting my pussy devour the monster dildo.
When the big cock panged at the upper limit of my cunt, I held steady, reaching down to turn the toy on. It was older than the rest, and it rumbled loud and low, like a thuggish man groaning while he fucked me. Edging my feet inward, I held the big guy between my heels. I started riding it, slow and steady at the start, building up speed as I scoured my clit with the blue vibe.
I always liked to watch my boobs bounce while I fucked a dildo, so I pulled down the straps on my nightie, letting my hefty tits spill over the top. My arm muscles worked overtime as I rubbed myself off with my trusty vibe, but I knew the tension would be worth it. My mattress squeaked as I bounced on my toy, increasing the vibration with my feet and feeling the buzz fill my pelvis.
“That’s so good,” I kept chanting, hoping I wouldn’t wake the neighbours. But who knows? There was always a chance I’d summon some ripped young guy and he’d storm into my bedroom and fuck the life out of me. Imagine that! Being taken in every position imaginable until I collapsed in bed and slept for a hundred years. Maybe I should scream even louder.
I came hard on two vibes, one on my clit and the other filling my snatch, but a single orgasm was never enough, even if it was a really good one. Letting the monster vibe chug away inside my pussy, I rested my clit and took a few slow breaths. It felt nice to fill my lungs and regulate my breathing, so I closed my eyes for a few minutes, letting the black toy’s low vibrations take over my clit and my ass.
Without opening my eyes, I reached for the smallest toy and held it between my clenched thighs as I drizzled it with lube. I grabbed it by the base and turned it on. The purple guy didn’t have the most powerful vibrations in the world, but my ass was super-sensitive. Anything would do.
Holding the little purple vibe in place with the pads of my feet, I lowered my body until its sleek tip rested against my asshole. My butt could be finicky about what got shoved in it, so I never forced anything. I sat there, kneeling on my towel, one huge vibe lodged firmly in my cunt while a much smaller one waited to enter my ass. And then I touched the blue mama to my clit.
I gasped at the overwhelming sensation. Vibrators everywhere! It was enough to get my asshole to open up just a bit, allowing the slim plastic vibe inside, little by little. The harder I scoured my clit, the more my ass opened up, but it wasn’t happening as fast as I wanted. I’ve never been particularly patient, and I forced my ass down on the mattress, throwing caution to the wind.
Big mistake, as always. My ass screamed in pain, and I jerked up from the bed, bringing all three vibes with me. My pussy and my asshole were strong enough to keep those toys in place, but only for a moment. When they both started to slide, I plunged back down on the mattress, forcing them farther inside my body.
Fuck, it hurt—especially my ass—but I’d gone too far to stop now. I wanted another orgasm, and I wasn’t above chasing it round in circles half the night. Luckily, it didn’t take so long. I turned my clit vibe up to full power and it put me right over the edge. The vibrations were so powerful I wanted to steal them away from my clit, but I forced myself to keep it there.
My newly-flexible yoga back arched, and I held my almost-upside-down pose as I scoured my clit. Throwing myself upright, I fucked my two vibes hard, feeling the black one filling my pussy as the purple one destroyed my ass. There were slices of pain along with the pleasure, and those incongruous feelings brought me deeper and higher than I’d ever been before.
I fucked my toys hard, nearly swallowing them whole before I couldn’t stand any more of that raw sensation. When I pulled them out and turned them off, the relief was fleeting. My asshole stung, and my pussy felt bruised outside and in. But I was too relaxed to worry.
Maybe tomorrow’s yoga routine would focus on healing fresh sex wounds. In seven days, I’d be ready for another round with three vibes.
Giselle is a favorite author here on Every Night Erotica, read more of her sexy stories.
Eroticist Giselle Renarde is a queer Canadian, avid volunteer, contributor to more than 50 short story anthologies, and author of dozens of electronic and print books, including Anonymous, Ondine, and My Mistress’ Thighs. Ms Renarde lives across from a park with two bilingual cats who sleep on her head.